1. Pessimism works better for me than optimism
Opimism
Me: I can throw the ball into the hoop! I know I can! I can do it!
*throws*
Me: Yeaa--!
*plops onto the ground*
Me: Shite.
Pessimism
Me: I'm damned. I'm cursed. Nobody cares if I do score anyway. I'm just a piece of crap-worth shit.
*throws*
Me: It's surely doomed to mi--
*score!*
Me: I didn't throw that. It must have bounced off and someone else threw it.
2. Insensitivity
I sometimes literately am unemotional. And insensitive.
There was once where I watched a considerably sad/touching show and I practically didn't feel anything.
(Movie: the orphans' family members abandoned them)
Friend: *teary-eyed*
Me: Okay. And?
(Movie: sister died)
Friend: *trying not to cry*
Me: She's kind of annoying anyway.
(Movie: Brother abuses dog because it was the cause of his sister's death)
Friend: Oh! Why...?
Me: Um. Ouch.
(Movie: Dog follows brother out of loyalty no matter how many times he yelled and shouted at him)
Friend: Awww...
Me: Is this a Hachiko rip-off?
Friend: Vi! For Pete's sake, have some emotions!
(Movie: 'Bad guy' beats the brother)
Friend: *gasps*
Me: Kung fu time!
(Movie: Dog dies)
Friend: *rubs eyes frantically*
Me: *tries to learn Emotions* Aw-www-www? Rest in peace..?
(Movie: brother whispers to the dog to greet his sister in heaven once it dies)
Friend: *rubs eyes furiously till it is red and sore)
Me: Awww. I finally learned how to feel!!!!
*The End*
3. Self-conversations
I literately talk to myself. But instead of a two-parties conversation, I tend to just talk out loud, making comments to no one in particular. Imagine making a video with yourself. You talk to out loud to the camera, right? Yeah, I do that, but with no video recorder.
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